The Fruits of Growth
Have you ever been through a season where you just didn't know what was coming next? Or maybe you questioned why you were put into the season you're in now? I've been there, friend. All year.
I was seeing a friend yesterday and she wanted to hear how I was doing. I had a lot to fill her in on about the grand adventures I had during my fall semester of university. I had explained to her that this year alone was tough. I went through multiple seasons of growing and healing. For example, I thought I was okay and practically good to enter my next season in August only to learn that there were a few things I needed to work through about a week later. This type of thing happened on and off all year. It's ended on a really great note so far. I was reminded that this year of growth was not wasted. I was reminded of my worth and given a glimpse of what true companionship should look like. I feel blessed to have been able to experience this moment of contentment and joy.
But, I'm going to be honest with you. It took a lot of growing, pain, tears, and overall healing to get to this place. The beautiful thing is, though, I learned how everything is connected. I'm hoping that through this article, I can share my year-long journey with you and be able to share the light of the gospel. Because, ultimately, while this is my story, it should be used to glorify God. Not myself, not my strength, not my growth. Him. I'm also hoping that through this, I can reach others who may be feeling some sort of pain or emptiness or grief of any sort. This may be a long article, so please bear with me, but I feel it's an important one to share.
It's been a while since I made an entry in this notebook. A lot has happened, and during this season, I plan to document more. By the end of break, or maybe the end of January, this notebook will be full. Lord, I ask that through You fruits can be evident during this journaling process. Bless this season, Lord. Let the season continue or begin.
I wrote this entry in my first "Jesus Journal" almost exactly a year ago. It's dated December 15, 2019. When I wrote this, I didn't expect to be called out of my relationship 3 days later. I didn't understand that when I wrote "let this season continue or begin," that a new season would actually begin.
Looking back at this, I'm just awestruck. I first saw this back in June, exactly six months after I wrote this, which is even crazier. I could see the fruits developing then and I can see them even more now. When I wrote this, I didn't know what to expect. I asked for growth and didn't even realize it. Isn't it amazing how God can use moments like these for our future selves to see?
A few weeks after writing this entry, I was trying to figure out what my word of the year would be. Dayspring has a quiz every year which helps you figure out what word you should study all year. Mine was "abide." Again, I didn't see how this would connect in the grand scheme of things. But I see it now.
I got a new journal on February 15th (do you see the theme here? I promise, I am not making this up). Little did I know this was the first "Jesus Journal" I would fill completely. It's a bit chunky and that's okay. Anyway, back to the point. I created a definition for my word. I reflected on it, continued to edit it, and work on it as much as I could. Unfortunately, I have not studied it as much as I wanted to, but that kind of thing happens. Regardless, I learned a lot from this study and I am still learning.
ABIDE (verb): To remain in, to walk beside, to follow; to look up to, honor, obey; to put trust in, to put hope in, to delight in; to be rooted in, to flourish in, have a relationship; to rely on; to praise beyond all measures no matter the circumstance.
Alright, so we have the definition, but where do the fruits come in? What does this have to do with the concept of growing? How is this all connected?
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me. If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be my disciples." John 15:1-8 CSB
This passage is really the root of the season. I was called to abide in the Lord and learn to abide in Him through everything, through the highs and the lows. As I studied what it meant to truly abide in Christ, I learned the other aspects that went into it. For example, the growing of fruits.
How happy is the one who does not walk in the advice of the wicked or stand in the pathway with sinners or sit in the company of mockers! Instead, his delight is in the Lord's instruction, and he meditates on it day and night. He is like a tree planted beside flowing streams that bears its fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
The wicked are not like this; instead, they are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therfore the wicked will not stand up in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to ruin. Psalm 1 CSB
Let's unpack that a little bit.
Verses 1-3 describes a well-nourished believer. One who finds themself planted by a stream, planted beside the living water of Christ. This tree, this believer, abides in Christ, just as He commanded in John 15. By abiding in Christ, studying the Bible, and filling themselves with the riches of the living water, they produce fruit, the fruit John 15 and Galatians 5 discusses.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23a CSB
Verses 4-5 of Psalm 1 discusses the unbeliever or those who are not rooted in Christ. They believe God exists, but they do not pursue that relationship with Him. These people are what the psalmist calls "the wicked" who are like "chaff." Here's a cool little thing I learned in church a couple years ago. Think of a grain field. Tall stocks of grain slightly bending amidst the wind.
Then the harvester collects the grain. He separates the actual grain particles from the stocks. All that is left are the stem and fragile empty plant shells. Those plant shells is the chaff. They are what holds the grain. Essentially, the psalmist is describing the separation between believer and unbeliever. The grain and the chaff.
John 15 describes something similar. Like the separation of grain from chaff, there is a separation between branch and fruit. The branches that do not produce fruit are tossed away, much like the chaff. The branches that produce fruit are kept in tact. Much like the grain is harvested from its "vine," the fruit is harvested, as well.
I think that's a cool representation of our relationship with Christ. In today's world, the believers can be separated and recognized apart from the unbelievers. We are recognized by our fruits. Do you see a common theme here? We can tell where our relationship with our Father stands based on the fruits we produce.
Okay, so, again, how does this fit with seasons? I have a cool piece of scripture to share with you that reflects directly to one of the fruits we are asked to obtain: patience. Are you ready?
Therefore, brothers and sisters, be patient until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth and is patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You must also be patient. Strengthen your hearts, because the Lord's coming is near. James 5:7-8 CSB
Do you see the connections here?
Okay, but what does this have to do with healing and heartbreak and pain and growing? I'm glad you asked.
Right now, we are being prepared for Christ's coming. This very second, the Holy Spirit is working on our hearts, God is creating plans, and Christ is atoning for our sins. These trials we go through, they are not meant to break us in a negative way. Oh, no. They are meant to break us in a way where we see our brokenness and allow God to heal it. These trials are meant to make us stronger.
When my relationship ended, I did not have all the answers. I actually had only one answer and it wasn't really the answer. I still don't have solid answers from my ex, but I know that the reason he ended it was not for the reasons he gave. He took an easy way out. And when God started to reveal these answers to me over time, it hurt. It forced me to acknowledge how broken the relationship made me, how blind it made me to what was going on in my heart. I had bitterness and I was exhausted and no one was pouring into me spiritually. I was becoming emotionally, spiritually, and mentally exhausted. God knew I couldn't handle it anymore.
But this has grown me in so many ways. I am bolder, a little bit wiser, and so much stronger than I was before. I learned what it means to have a relationship with Christ. I prayed dangerous prayers that I did not want to pray, but knew I needed to. And I'm so glad I did. I feel nothing but joy. And, you know what? I survived this year. Through God, and God alone, I kicked this year's butt.
Growth (noun): the act or process, or a manner of growing; development; gradual increase; size or stage of development; completed development; development from a simpler to a more complex stage; development from another but related form or stage. dictionary.com
The harvesting process may hurt. But there's beauty in pain, right? No matter what you're going through, God is right there beside you. He is ready to catch you when you fall, help you up when you stumble, and guide you through that raging sea. I mean, Jesus can literally still the raging and chaotic seas. If He can do that, He can do anything. And He will do anything. He already has. He died on a cross and died for the murderous, deceitful, and heartless acts we have committed. He was persecuted. He carried our sins. He died for us. If He's willing to do that, what makes us think He isn't willing to help us get through the season? If He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it.
I want to encourage you to look back on this year and see where you have grown. Maybe it's in your relationships with friends, family, or that special person in your life. Maybe it's been in maturity through school or work. Or maybe it's just in recognizing your worth in Christ (because you are a freaking diamond).
It's been a year, guys, but it hasn't been wasted. It's challenged us and helped us to realize things about ourselves that maybe we should change due to negative connotations, or things we should embrace more in a positive light. Growth isn't bad. And despite what many of us think (and I had to deal with this too), there is no release date on when your season of healing and growth should end. Truth be told, we should always be growing. It's how we know we are in a healthy mindset emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
So, friend, I have a question for you: What has God been teaching you this year?
For me, it's been on abiding, the importance of healthy relationships, and patience. Because, ultimately, it's all in His timing. Not ours.
Thank you so much for reading, sweet friend. God has great things in store for you. You are so so loved. Don't forget that.
I would really appreciate it if you clicked on this Google Forms sheet and let me know what you would like to read in the future! I am open to suggestions.
I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day and weekend. Remember to keep smiling. You never know who will need it. And have a very merry Christmas.
XO, Kaylee
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